Reason #66


I wrote a whole notebook of reasons why, just for and about you.  I hope that means something to you, one day, or that it still exists, even.  And I still miss you.  You see, that’s what happens when you love someone, they’re never out of your thoughts for long, and every day without them just reminds you of their absence and you wonder how and what you did before they were there because you just don’t know what to do anymore now that they are not.

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Haunt U


My time is here and I’m making it clear
Oh I love you my dear
But I’m going, I’m gone

Nothing worse than losing a friend
And the feeling you get when everybody that you love ain’t around
I really gotta get away from this town
I’m just waiting for a wave and I’ll drown

I ain’t gonna set you free
All you gonna get from me
Little bit a love and a little virtue
If I hurt you, I’ll end it all

Reason #65


Because we still have so much to talk about, despite you saying there is nothing, or you have nothing.  That’s okay, a little silence never hurt anyone.  We’ll get back to talking about nothing and everything again soon.  It’ll be worth waiting for.  For now, I’d like to just sit beside you in silence and hold your hand.  Let me do that, would you, please?  We can just be, for now.

I’m sorry, I’m trying


I’m sorry that I can’t get out of bed
I’m sorry that my heads always a mess
I’m sorry that I missed your call
For the third time in a row
I promise that I care much more than I show

Don’t get carried away, no
I’ll only let you down
Certain circumstances got me feeling low
Don’t take it personally
Talk some sense into me, I’ve been feeling senseless
Acting selfish, hate myself so fucking much, I’m out of touch
But I can see through all the lies that they’ve been selling me
Quit telling me you know they know what’s best for me
My patience being tested, see
In the parking lot of the high school that I went to
Thought I hated it, but it’s real shit when your friends leave
And you’re back home with the same dreams
On the same street
All of the things that I’ve taken for granted is now
Everything that I wish hadn’t ended
All that I hated is now what I miss
Ain’t that a bitch

I’m sorry that I can’t get out of bed
I’m sorry that my heads always a mess
I’m sorry that I missed your call
For the third time in a row
I promise that I care much more than I show

Reason #64


Because there is so much we’ve yet to do. Everything, in fact.  I still want to bring you chocolate milk and cheese toasties when you’re hungry late at night. I still want to go out and watch movies with you.  I still want to give you crappy massages.  I still want to listen to and play music with you.  I still want to laugh with you and have inside jokes with you that nobody else understands.  I want to cook with you.  I want to watch you sleeping when it’s the dead of night and I can’t.  I want to go for walks with you and hold hands and show you all the places I like to walk.  I want to see the snow with you.  I still want to be the person you trust and tell everything to, whether it’s serious or silly.  I still want to watch anime with you even though I don’t really like it but because I know you do.  I still want to go on dates with you.  I still want to be your best friend too.  I want to learn from and about you, every day.  I believe we can do these things.  I have to.  I know that you want them too.