Month: December 2013

A series of unfortunate events

Xin 2

(Credit given to the other roleplayer involved in this post, Xin’thalore)

She hadn’t seen the Wastelander until it was an inch away from her face, literally, and owing only to her quick reflexes, it hadn’t lived long, it’s throat cut, body bleeding out into the sand at her feet, and she wiped the dagger blade along her thigh, to remove the remaining blood from it, cursing herself as she did so for her own stupidity. She knew better than to ever go out into the desert at night alone. Ever.

You … stupid, wreckless, fool of a girl! Were you trying to get yourself killed, Ana? Were you?!”

I didn’t think. I’m sorry, Val. I didn’t…”

No, you didn’t think. Where is your mind? How many times have I told you, huh?”

And then more appeared. She actually heard them before she saw them, and suddenly, there in the middle of the sands, she was surrounded, the full moon allowing her to see in almost as much clarity as if it were full daylight, what her death looked like. She stopped moving then, her arms dropped to her sides, the dagger still in her hand, but she wouldn’t raise it again, for the next few seconds seemed to move in almost slow motion as she stood there breathing hard, inhaling, exhaling, leaned slightly forward, her hands resting on her knees and she had one of those moments that could only be described as seeing your entire life flash before your eyes, and with it, all her fight dissipated.

She’d come to the desert with a specific purpose, a mission, and it had been successful, she was home free now. All she’d had to do was simply leave, and then this happened because of some idiotic nostalgic notion of saying goodbye to Val all over again.

You never learn, do you?

It seemed more than a little apt that here would now be the place that she met her end. After all that had gone on before this, and even recently, this place, the place that she most identified with as home would be where it would all end. And then he appeared in a flurry of blades, and lithe movements, despite the mans sheer size, and amidst the carnage that unfolded in front of her, the sounds of the wastelanders screams and the blood flying everywhere, all she could do was stand, transfixed, as if what were actually happening right in front of her eyes was not even real. The sand soaked with blood and littered with who knew how many corpses, Ana gaped at him and then, her face pale and her voice slightly shaken, she managed,

“Who are you?”

He stared at her for a moment, before glancing back over his shoulder to the surviving mercenaries that accompanied him. She hadn’t even seen them until just now.

“Keep the convoy moving. We must get through the jungles before morning.” He commanded them and then turned his attention back to her, and with a tilt of his head, quipped.

“An unfortunate series of events, eh?”

Ana blinked in disbelief and then moved her hand across her face, wiping her eyes and face in a gesture that was meant to give her a moment to think before she spoke, but she still couldn’t speak for a moment, and then he told her his name.

“Lord Van’analesh. Yourself, dove?”

Say something. You should be dead right now, Ana.

“If you are a Lord, then I am a Lady, “she finally responded, looking him up and down, thinking to herself that he looked like no Lord she had ever met before, “Lady Singsorrow-Blackcrest. I should … I should thank you for just saving my life.”

And he’d bowed his head, moving towards her slowly, and moments later offered her an escort out of the hostile desert, and for whatever reason, she wasn’t afraid, not of him anyway. She’d learned to trust her gut instinct and right now, it told her that he didn’t mean her harm, at least not immediately. What had almost transpired just now had her more rattled than the violence she’d just witnessed that had put an end to it, and she looked at the man, this Van’analesh, unable to judge him any further by the expression on his face, or even his eyes because of the mask that covered it, but she answered in spite of this.

“Where are you headed?”


His hand extended to turn her attention to the convoy ahead that was getting ready to move onwards, telling her.

“This dual-headed serpent slithers for the dense jungles of Un’goro Crater. Though, I personally assure you we’ll transport you to the location which you desire. Travelling these sands proves … too dangerous, alone.”

Ana frowned as she looked over his shoulder and off into the distance, but she was loath to refuse his offer. He had said that the natives had been excessively hostile recently and she’d been witness to that first hand.

“Well, I could fly out from there, I suppose. I was headed out of this area completely, too. Back to the city …”her voice trailed off for a moment, and she shook her head in disbelief once more, “I still don’t know what I would have done if … well, it’s convenient that you and your … people appeared just now. I’ve been out here for days and haven’t seen a soul.”

She appraised the man with her eyes then, fully taking in his appearance as he remained silent, and she chewed on her bottom lip, not sure what to say now. He was tall, and not just a little bit taller than her, he towered over her at at least a foot or more in height and the tight fitting leathers he wore really left little to the imagination, he was clearly more than a little toned and in exceptional shape physically. Absently she wondered if she could even fit both hands around one of his huge upper arms. She forced her eyes back to his face then, the helmet now removed, displaying a face that wasn’t exactly unattractive, but scarred and a little unkempt, and she managed a small smile.

“You look like somebody I used to know, and …you really don’t look like a … city kind of man, either.”

“We’re all from the Motherland of Quel’thalas, dove. I’m simply expanding the territory, “and with a nod he added, “with our escort you’ll be back in the motherland before you know it. Safely. I insist…”

“Will you be escorting me yourself, personally?”

“Heh, I’m no city boy. You’re right, “he said, rubbing at the scruffy facial hair, before arching his elbow to respectfully offer her his arm. “Come. It won’t be long before the Devilsaurs start looking for food.”

She cast a sideways glance at the man’s profile when he looked ahead and slipped her arm under his, hooking her elbow in the crook of his, resting her palm and splayed fingers on his upper arm. She shook her head and laughed a little as they began to walk.

“Well, you might not be a city boy, but you at least have the manners of one. I feel like the clichéd damsel in distress, here.” She shakes her head, adding, “Maybe I’ve spent too long again in the city, myself in recent months. It was stupid coming this far out in the desert alone. I should have known better.”

He finally snickered at that.

“My mother just taught me right, perhaps. And don’t feel ashamed. You didn’t cry for my help. But, I’m no knight in shiny armor, “he flicked at one of his leather spaulders.

“I thought I was dead already, to be honest, and you want to know something? That was okay. Everyone meets their end eventually, no?” She shivered a little and rubbed at one of her bare arms with her free hand and then shrugged, before laughing, “And no, definitely no shiny armor there. Like it makes a difference though? You clearly don’t need it.”

“I might’ve found you dead if it wasn’t dark. These sands get cold during the moon light, and it saves us all from the heat. Are you cold? Oh, and … I apologize for my future appearance.”

She shot him an odd look at the last comment, before talking again, nodding.

“Oh yeah, I know all about the cold out here. And yes, I’m freezing, “she admitted, rubbing at her arm again, “I sent my things ahead hours ago thinking I’d be well out of here by now. I did live out here for a long time. Like I said, it was stupid to come out here this far alone and unprepared. Never did go near the ‘Crater, though. I was always told, when we lived out here, not to. Then again, I was told never to wander out into the desert alone, too.”

She laughed a little at herself at that, and pressed herself closer to the man as they walked, feeling a little warmer than she had just minutes earlier. He was like a giant, walking heater. She yawned and had to almost fight the urge to close her eyes, but then the landscape changed, and Un’goro Crater was right ahead. He told her that she was to stay back until he told her it was safe to move again, and she trusted his words. He’d saved her once already. If he said it would be okay, and he would make sure she was safe, then it would be so, and with that, he drew an arrow from his quiver, calling out to his soldiers as they moved into the eerie Crater…



A letter opened with blood stained hands…

The seal was one she had not recognized, nor the writing, and she now pulled it from her pocket where it had been for several hours, her hands still shaking, and sticky with drying blood, some her own, and some the owner of whom was now no doubt already halfway across Azeroth with their tail between their legs.  A warning had been issued, and this in itself was progress.  She could leave now, and go home, wherever home was at this point, confident of two things, that what she had done here had been carried out with efficiency and precision and that she now had the upper hand.  Of that there was no doubt in her mind.

She looked at the words on the parchment, small and neatly written and then placed it aside for a moment as she washed her hands quickly in the small basin, drying them on a towel which she then balled up and threw into the fireplace, watching for just a moment as it was consumed within just a few seconds, before picking up the parchment once more to read the letter.

Dear Ana,

It has been two days since our first encounter, and already I grow weary of the way our people talk around certain subjects.  Your bluntness was a nice change of pace.  I hope this letter does not intrude upon you, but I still find myself thinking of you and the night we spent on that hilltop.  

I hope that this letter finds you well, and with haste.


And at that point Ana closed her eyes, let out a small sigh and folded the letter back up, slipping it back inside her pocket.  That night on the hilltop, an oddly peaceful couple of hours of normalcy and in pleasant company was one she would not likely forget for some time, but only for the fact that it had been out of the ordinary.  That man, that stranger, had shown her more quiet companionship than she’d known in months, and it had been nice, very nice.  But it could only be just one moment in time that shouldn’t be repeated, couldn’t it?  He didn’t know her, not really.  He knew her name and beyond that, really nothing else.  And it was better that way.

It was better that way…

The Persistence of Loss – Part Ten: Love, Life and the Treasures That Follow

[Reader warning and disclaimer: The following post contains themes of a sexual nature and is not suitable for younger audiences]

I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything.  Maybe we’re from the same star.”

Ana and Tindomiel

“Hello. Ana, wasn’t it?”

She stopped in her tracks for a moment, having intended to just leave the teachings quickly and quietly, avoiding if she could the usual moments that some of the others liked to have, standing around making small talk with one another, talking about the weather, or how wonderful their new robes looked, or even sometimes the things they’d just learned. But then he had followed, the man who had just moments earlier been as quiet as she, one who she’d not seen before until that evening, and one who she had, during the lesson noticed with a curiosity; and for some reason, were it the clothes he was wearing or the way he sat back and just listened, licking his lips from time to time, she’d been intrigued.

She nodded finally, and looked at him then, really looked at him, instead of her hands, or her feet, or the trees behind him, but at his face, and the way his eyes looked as they were intently fixed on her was unusual, it couldn’t not be noticed. They were a slightly acidic and almost glowing green, and she knew at once that he was not like the others, in this detail alone. And his face, his skin, there was something wrong with it. Not wrong exactly, but just different, and in this way also, he wasn’t like the others. The color of his skin was almost a deathly white, making the blood vessels and veins beneath look even more pronounced than they already were. Some urge to raise her hand to touch his cheek, wondering if she were to do so if she’d find the surface bumpy and grotesque or just odd, and then when he spoke again, she realized that she had probably been staring and she blinked a few times, inwardly telling herself to not blush. Do not blush.

“I overheard somebody refer to you by name, you see. And also, that you live in Shattrath. It’s a coincidence, really, if you do, because I do too.”

It wasn’t a very long conversation by any means, but nevertheless, when he mentioned that he had other business to attend to and would need to go, Ana felt a small twinge of disappointment. As she watched him walk away into the woods, she knew that inevitably she would see him again, for she’d learned that his name was Tindómiel Singsorrow, and he, like Tarcanus, was a Master of the Celestial Dawn’s order. What she hadn’t expected was that another meeting would come so soon, and it was only a few hours later in fact, when he, for the second time, approached her when the Order’s members gathered socially at the Darkmoon Faire.

And from that moment, despite even the fact that Tarcanus was returned to them later that evening after being kidnapped of all things, that everything and everyone else faded into the background, insignificant to some extent in the face of this charismatic, unusual man.

Tin and Ana DMFf

The very next night found them meeting again to talk and to drink at the World’s End tavern, the one place that was close to home for both of them, and each successive night that followed got longer and increasingly more difficult to bring to an end with them having to part ways.

Earlier in the evening that would later become the first night that the two of them actually spent together, the most unusual of conversations took place. It was revealed that Tindómiel Singsorrow was a master manipulator, and murderer, of sorts, and Ana herself wasn’t altogether unlike him in many ways, although their reasons and their means were, and it was this, oddly enough, even if she hadn’t considered herself to be his already, that seemed to seal the deal, as it were.

Just for clarity, of course, does this now mean that we are a ‘thing’?”

Yes, my love, this means that we are most definitely a ‘thing’.”

And it was the first time, that night, that she had ever even touched him, on his insistence, when he laughed softly as she stared at his face as she had done since the very first time they’d met.

“Go on and touch them, “he said, meaning the pronounced veins on his cheeks and forehead, and as her fingertips ran over the uneven surface of his skin, it occurred to her that had it been anyone else, she could or should have felt repulsed or deterred, but it was him, and no matter the reason that he felt and looked this way, and she did know what that reason was, she would never go anywhere. She was his, for the rest of her days. In her mind at least, that much had already been decided.

“I don’t want this night to end, “she murmured, her fingers still on his face, and he chuckled and shook his head before voicing his agreement.

“And neither do I, this night, or any other before it that you and I have spent.”

She allowed her hand to retract, dropping it to her lap and then reaching for his hand, lacing her fingers through his and she sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“After these nights, when we have to say goodbye, it is too quiet, too still, and honestly, I can’t bear to be alone.”

“It won’t be quiet tonight.”

“And how do you know that?” she laughed, “it is so, every night!”

“Because, well…”and he smirked and licked his lips as he so often did, and she laughed at his pause and elbowed him gently in the side as if to prompt him to finish.

“Because I know these things. And I know that it will not be quiet tonight, because I am going to spend the night with you.”

And sometime during that night, when warm, close cuddling and talking then turned into heated desire and the exploration of each others bodies, in which Ana discovered that it was not only Tindómiel’s face and hands that were altered but in fact every part of him, from head to toe, he had put pause on their lovemaking to tell her that he feared if they gave their bodies to each other that night then it might in some way cheapen what they had together.

I want you, Veya, Gods know I want you so very much, I do. But you see, you mean so much more to me than this one hurried fit of passion and need. Let us wait until it is perfect, no?”

The wait proved to be short, for all of his sentiment and her own resolve, just days later in fact, when it became apparent that there was no need to wait, because this would be the first time of many. And for Ana, it had not been the first time she had been with a man, but he would be her last.

Laying in that room, on the bed, not even a sheet to cover either of them, her eyes did wander from his face to appraise his entire bare form from head to toe, now seeing plainly what she could not see before. The line of hair trailing down from below his navel to .. her eyes back on his face, her stomach a mess of knots, she chewed on her lip, cheeks flushed a dark pink not from embarassment or self consciousness but from wanting him to touch her, wanting to touch him and oh Gods, why was he waiting? And then suddenly he was just there and his mouth was on hers and this time, unlike any other time they had kissed, this one was different and filled with an entirely new and desperate sense of urgency and desire so overwhelming that Ana’s head started to spin as his hands on her body were gentle yet still confident in their movements, and everywhere his hands touched her flesh it felt as though they were leaving burning trails in their wake. She was on fire, again, and his cool hands on her body, her back, her shoulders, as he kissed his way down her face, her jaw, her shoulders, his soft, gentle lips touching her where his hands hand been and the sensations were almost overwhelming.

She greedily soaked it all up, allowing her head to fall back, an audible low moan escaping her lips as his hand massaged her breast, and a moment later he pressed his knee between her legs as he shifted her towards the bed and whether it had been intentional or not she ground herself against it involuntarily but then she was lying down on the bed on her back and he was hovering over and she brought her own hands up finally running them over his body as he held himself above her covering her bare skin with kisses and touches, trailing over his belly, running her fingers in a circle around his navel, tracing the line of hair downwards reaching for … and she was distracted by his own hand tracing it’s own trail downwards along the curve of her hip, down her thigh, back up again and her thighs parted almost of their own accord before it changed it’s course at the last minute and he laid it on her cheek and shifted his body so it were more centered over her own and he smiled down at her tenderly. Her breath hitched in her throat after he’d readjusted himself over her and they were merely seconds away from being joined, and she could actually feel him pressing against here there and her breath became quicker and more labored as he asked her,

“Are you ready?”

And it wasn’t just her face that flushed anew this time, but her entire body filled with a rush of heat settling between her legs making her drop her knees further ready to let him in. She opened her mouth to actually answer him with yes, but the word wouldn’t actually form coherently enough to come out, her mouth was dry, her breathing so labored she couldn’t even manage it so she placed her hands on his chest, gained eye contact with him and nodded and he needed no further encouragement. Ana moaned softly as she lifted her knees and locked her legs around the small of his back, her feet resting there, pulling herself up, her body moving with his in a way completely foreign to her, it’s movements almost all their own as if instinctively it fell into it’s own rhythm to match his perfectly and it felt like they just fit, they were made for each other. Her body was meant to be owned by his and they truly were one.

And at some point she moved from under him and rolled over onto him and he and sat up, wrapping his arms around her back and supporting her, and as she wrapped her arms around his neck and threw her head back, eyes closed, one of them was making sounds, and then both, loud moans and whimpers and more moans and when her mouth opened and she began to utter his name over and over again, she realized that he was doing it too, “Veya.. oh Gods, Veya…”, it was both of them audibly voicing the sounds of their sheer enjoyment and then her body began to move with more urgency than before as she felt the first waves of pent up release begin to take hold of her body and when it completely reached it’s absolute peak she dug her fingers into the backs of his shoulders, crying out his name one last time before it was over, her body covered in a fine layer of sweat and she slowly moved from atop him at last, reluctant to break that contact with him but she finally lay on her side stretched out languidly beside him, her fingers tracing lines and circles over his chest and that is when he said it.

“… I love you.”

She smiled contentedly at him and pressed herself close, draping her arm across his belly and resting her head in the crook of his shoulder, and although it was the first time she’d actually heard the words and said them in return, it certainly wasn’t the first night that the emotion had been felt, just voiced.

And not too many days later, on a night not unlike the first they’d spent together, sitting bare-assed on a desk in their home, her legs wrapped around his waist, breathless and damp with sweat, he said,

“I want you with me every day of forever. Is it too soon, too soon , for such sentiments and well, what would you think if I were to ask…”

“Tindomiel, I am crazy about you, you silly man! It matters not to me whether it has been weeks or even days. I have never been happier than I am right now.”

“Then, will you? Will you marry me?”

“Yes. A thousand times, yes.”

There had been no nerves, no second thoughts, no reservations. Why would there be? Ana had found the one unobtainable thing that she hadn’t even realized she’d been searching for. And she had found that in Tindómiel. From that very first night in the woods, when he had approached her and said hello, everything had changed. If there had been one particular moment when she might have been caused to have anything that even resembled second thoughts, it was on the eve of the wedding itself, sitting on her horse beside Tindómiel at the gateway in the Eastern Plaguelands, which lead to the ruined city of Stratholme and it was then, and there that Tindómiel had revealed himself more fully to her.

Ana Tin EPL

This place is so wonderfully horrid, is it not? It’s like … death. Death is beautiful, right? Or it can be. But! Enough of that, are you nervous yet?”

Nervous about the wedding? No, not a bit. Are you?”

Not about the wedding. About you and me. As people, being able to see eye to eye. Whether any of what I do will conflict with your moral code. Problems of the mind, not of the heart.”

If there were a problem with whether we were able to see eye to eye, we might not even be here now. Literally and figuratively, no?”

Yes and no, I suppose. I mean, that depends on how you feel about … uh, well there’s no gentle way to put this, but slavery.”

You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that. As always. I assume this is why we’re here, that this is in some way going to explain your absence for the past several weeks? You might as well fill me in, thoroughly.”

Guldan did something that changed history. Slavery probably isn’t the right word, eternal servitude perhaps? He created servants by binding souls to inanimate objects and those were the driving force of those servants. You are marrying a very paranoid man, and so what follows is protection and solitary housing. I want to lock myself away from everyone, because I’m afraid of this place and what it stands for. Death. That’s why you wear that ring and that’s why I’m going to do everything I can to protect myself. Even if it means destroying the lives of others to do so, and resorting to such means such as pseudo-necromancy and the creation of entities with the likeness of Death Knights that were bound to servitude to Gul’dan.”

And he’d paused for a moment, smiling brightly before continuing.

That’s why I’ve been gone. I’ve found a power source that is pure and powerful enough to do such. I just need to capture it.”

Paranoid, Tindómiel, is somewhat of an understatement… and why, why are you telling me this now, on this night? Is this where I am supposed to run screaming now?”

“No, it is simply because I trust you, and this is my way of showing it. To let you understand my life’s goals. Crazy? Yes, probably. Definitely, even. But you also deserve to know given that we’re about to be wed, no?”

“…You could create an undead army the size of the Eastern Kingdoms itself, if it would ease your troubled mind, Dómi, and I would still never leave your side. Ever.”

No one knows why we fall in love and how we find that person, but everything changes when we do.  It something words cannot describe and feelings that are unique to whoever we find to share them with.  Although we all walk different paths in life, when we finally find someone to share that path with, each step seems a little lighter, each moment seems a little easier.  On some deep, spiritual level, we all intrinsically know when we have found something so pure, so genuine.  When we acknowledge and cultivate it into something shared, something nurtured, and something kindled, we have found it.  We’ve found love.”~Tarcanus Frostbourne.

The Vows

And now she stood in the city that was her home, before her friends and colleagues about to marry him. She looked up at the sky just for a moment and closed her eyes, wondering if her mother, her father or even her brother were watching down on her somehow and found comfort for the first time in many years, that if they were, they would have been happy and proud.  She took Tindómiel’s hands and listened to his vows and they would be words she would remember to her last day.

Love, life and the treasures that follow. Not physical, literal treasures but the affection, the feeling and the embrace of someone that cares about you. Even in my chaotic fury, my unending torment, and my despicable means I have you, Veya, and that’s what you are. A treasure, you are a treasure I can hold and you gleam, not with gold and not with precious gemstones. You give me pride, because you are greater than me.

You have a will that is stronger, and you have the means to protect and avenge. It is through these means that your charisma is fueled, and it is because of that charisma that I branched out and spoke to you that Friday night in Eversong during Tarc’s teachings. It is because of this charisma that I feel the need to be honest with you; and because of that honesty, honestly I feel safe with you. A comfort I’ve not known before.

You give me hope, hope that I am not lost and in turn able to be amongst the masses. This is why I will do, and am doing everything I can to reciprocate those means. I will let no harm come to you, because you will let no harm come to me. I am yours, solely, and worlds will have to be broken before that will change.

I will aspire to you, because you do not deserve something that is less than my every last aching amount of effort and sincerity. Most importantly, though, I will never stop loving you. Love, in my eyes, is to sacrifice everything for the people you love, which is why I will sacrifice everything for you, even if it is just to protect you. I will cherish that feeling, as I hope you will too.

And later that night, they had travelled to Uldum, spent their first night as man and wife, under the stars, and before they had both fallen asleep, he’d wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to conform to his shape and he’d pressed his lips to the back of her neck. She had wriggled back to mould herself to fit him where he lay, pulling his arm across and around her waist so she could interlace her fingers with his, and she’d rested her head on her other arm, closing her eyes and sighing contentedly, for now.

“We must cherish this and these coming days, and every day thereafter, for nothing is more precious, “he’d told her, “I love you, Lady Singsorrow, less today than tomorrow. And more two days from now, than tomorrow. You are my stars, shining ever brightly in the sky and no one shall take you from me.”

And then he was gone.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she groggily turned her head from first one side to the other, blinking slowly as she woke from her nap, and turning towards the window beside the sofa on which she’d fallen asleep in the Estate’s common room, she was reminded as she took in the view, that she was world’s away from Terokkar and Shattrath itself. The rolling green of the grass and the fading sun was everything in contrast to the grounds of the Singsorrow’s land and she was suddenly terribly homesick.

Reminiscing, or dreaming for such a long time as she had just done was something that Ana found a little less painful to do now without completely falling apart, but it was by no means easy. Time enough had now passed that allowed her the luxury of being able to look back and remember the happy times, the unique moments that the two of them had shared. Words spoken, looks given to the other that had conveyed a thousand times more than words every could, small touches and gestures that could not and would not ever be replaced. But nothing would ever soothe her mind completely other than absolute clarity. Without a definite reason why, just weeks following her wedding, that she had woken up to find Tindómiel’s side of the bed empty and a feeling of dread at the very center of her being.

I need to return to my roots, to separate myself from the others. I’ve found myself. All this chaos may finally come to an end. “

But would the chaos ever end? Without an answer, no. Not for her, not ever. She knew that her friends, her family and her colleagues for the most part wished her well, and some encouraged her to move on, or tried to placate her with well wishes and assurances that she would love again, and that she would and could be happy, but what she had shared with him, with Tindómiel Singsorrow, had been like an illness, and not a terminal illness, but something chronic, one from which you simply never entirely recover.

Love, life and the treasures that follow.”

Not anymore. Now, more aptly, it was love, life and the unending sorrows that follow. She curled her fingers around the soulstone ring hanging from the chain inside her robe and one last thought crossed her mind.

The convenience is strong with that one. Masterful, even. 


She said that the Estate would be a good place to rest, to “recover”.  Did my sister really think it would be so easy?  One recovers from an illness or some such thing, not … this.  Or was it an illness, loving him?  I still do, I always will.  It’s not going to just stop because my well meaning sister wants it to.

“The last thing  you need right now, Ana, is to be alone.”

She believes that if I get enough rest and time around people who I know and care about that I will be able to function again, that I will be able to “get on with my life” and be happy again.  I think her definition of loss and mine may differ somewhat, just maybe more than a little bit.

And the Estate itself, Gods knows it’s not quiet by any means.  How am I to rest with the sounds of so many footsteps, talking and laughter going on right outside my door at all hours of the night and day?

I want to go home.

I want to go home…