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I’d like to believe


“I’d like to believe that there is healing.  It’s a wonderful notion; that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, that loss simply allows us to learn how better to appreciate what we do have for the time that we have it.  But… I don’t believe it anymore.  People often forget that what remains are memories, and that when a wound heals, it leaves a permanent scar that never fully goes away.  I will go on, as I always have done, because I simply have no other choice. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t know how long for because I don’t want to.”

~Anaveya Blackcrest.

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Mano Saulė


Aš kasdien galvoju apie tave, mano gyvenimo meilė.  Aš rimtai, tu esi ypatingas.  Nepamiršk man karts nuo karto parašyti – kiek daug pokyčių įvyko ir aš tavęs labai ilgiousi.  Negaliu įsivaizduoti gyvenimo be tavęs, jis jaučiasi taip tuščias, tu nesate čia.

Taigi padėtis yra tokia bet mes niekur.  Tai ne tai, ką planuoja likimai.

Tikiuosi, kad vieną dieną, tikiuosi, kad mes iki to dar prieisime.  Mano pasaulis be tavęs – tamsu, tuščias, vienišas ir šaltas; jūs paėmėte saulės spindesį, mano šiluma, mano komfortas ir saugi vieta, mano namai.  

Tu esi mano namai ir tyla yra skausminga.  Noriu geriausio draugo atgal, mano mylimasis, mano kompanionas, mano pasaulis.  Niekada nesame matę nieko panašaus, šis ryšys.  Tu žinai, ir aš tai žinau.

Žinau, kad tai sudėtinga ir suprantu, kad tai nelengva, tačiau ir aš, ir jūs žinome, kad dar daug nepadaryta.

Prašau atleisk man.  Aš pasiklydau.  Aš vis tiek tau reikia.  Aš vis dar noriu tave.

Aš tavęs labai ilgiousi. Aš visada tave mylėsiu.

Atleisk man.

 

 

Author Hiatus – A note from Admin


Ana has taken a break from social media, from this blog, from external distractions and pressures for an undetermined amount of time.  This blog was always a place for her to share her work; her stories, her thoughts, her personal triumphs and struggles and it only seems fitting that it continue that way.  She had been working on a lot of different things for this blog and herself; thoughts, story pieces, quotes, letters and songs which she had drafted for posting at a later date, so you will still continue to see semi-regular posts for the time being.  Some are complete, and some are not.  You will see both.

She has always maintained that this was her space to share pieces of herself when she at many times struggled to do so in her life outside this little piece of the internet and was always grateful for the following and readership she received over the past three years, from loved ones, friends – new and old, and strangers alike.

Thank you for reading and continuing to read.

 

~M. Thomas-Jameson (Back-up admin/archivist for These Things)