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“Maybe I’m in hell right now…”


“Maybe I’m in hell right now, but you all knew I never believed in hell. The concept was created to keep us on track, and motivate us to do good. What if earth is hell? It sure felt that way.

What if everything we wanted was actually nothing? What if all the things we think are tangible, are actually figments of our imagination? What if life is actually death, and when we die we are truly alive? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

For if this is life, surely some of us wouldn’t inexplicably yearn for death so badly?”

~ Excerpt from An Open Suicide Letter

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Reason #66


I wrote a whole notebook of reasons why, just for and about you.  I hope that means something to you, one day, or that it still exists, even.  And I still miss you.  You see, that’s what happens when you love someone, they’re never out of your thoughts for long, and every day without them just reminds you of their absence and you wonder how and what you did before they were there because you just don’t know what to do anymore now that they are not.

Reason #63


Because I have never found enough words and still can’t and won’t for you to understand how I feel and how I feel about you.  I have tried and they’re not enough.  If I could do one thing right, I would be able to say something or do something so that you would know, really know.  What I know is that nobody will love you the way that I do, and I hope you know that one day too.  You say that I don’t understand anything, but I think it’s you that doesn’t.  I hope you do one day.  Please understand one day.  Every word I’ve ever said meant more than you know.  I hope you know that one day.  I love you more than words.  Please don’t forget me.  Please don’t forget anything.  Please remember every single day.   And if you can’t, these words will always be here to remind you that I tried, should you revisit them sometimes.  You always were and are everything to me.

Star Shopping


Wait right here, I’ll be back in the morning
I know that I’m not that important to you but to me you’re so much more than gorgeous
So much more than perfect
Right now I know that I’m not really worth it
If you give me time I can work on it
Give me some time while I work on it
Losing your patience and I don’t blame you

If I find a way will you walk it with me?
Look at my face while you talking to me
Cause we only have one conversation a week
Can I get one conversation at least?

This music’s the only thing keeping the peace when I’m falling to pieces

Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason
A reason to shine, a reason like mine and I’m falling to pieces
Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason

 

Credit: http://www.lilpeep.party/

Gustav Åhr ~ 1996-2017

Shot by: Wiggy ~ YouTube

I dreamed of you


“I dreamed of you. I breathed you in to keep you close, the last piece of you I could cling to. You lifted me up out of the darkness and filled my lungs with water. I choked, betrayed but you were far away. Clawing at my skin, I cried for you. Desperate for air, I reached for your ghost and found my hands empty. The concrete was cold as I emptied my lungs to fill them with crisp cold air. Empty and isolated. All those around me, oblivious to the betrayal of our love. Oblivious to my still beating heart taunting me in your grasp while you fled far, far away. I cried for you and it fell on deaf ears. And I awoke, alone and afraid of a world without you.”