Author: A.D. Nielsen

Our family lives are as important as the economy. (An open letter to the New Zealand government).

Dear Rt. Hon Jacinda Ardern and Hon Iain Lees-Galloway,

Thank you for the fantastic job you have and are doing for our beautiful country. We are writing this open letter out of desperation and in hope that you are able to support us in this heart wrenching situation. We are Kiwis in our home country, currently finding ourselves facing life in New Zealand without our families. Our families are stranded around the world, being denied entry into our home, to be part of our bubble.

We are New Zealand citizens and New Zealand permanent residents wanting to be reunited with our life partners and children. We are New Zealand’s nurses, tradesmen, mental health professionals, scientists, tax advisors, musicians, teachers and civil servants. New Zealand is, and always will be, our home.

At the moment we have no idea when we will be reunited with our loved ones. Our lives are on hold. Since the lock-down began there has been very little clarity or information from Immigration New Zealand. Most of our partners have been told that they will be able to join us ‘when the border opens’. This is extremely distressing to hear, as no-one knows when this will be. We understand and support the need for strict border control, however the ongoing situation is causing a huge unnecessary emotional strain on all of us.

Our partners happened to be overseas for various reasons when the border closed with little warning. We appreciate that at least some of our partners are on the exemptions to the border closure list, but our experience has been very different. We have all applied numerous times, and all of our applications have been declined. We are in stable, genuine long term relationships. On our numerous calls and contact with INZ, we have received very mixed messages and we now feel at a complete loss with how to progress.Most of us are able and willing to pay for our partners to quarantine, this is the least of our worries. Some of us are having to access medical assistance as we are anxious and completely overwhelmed due to the uncertainty of when we will be able to see the loves of our lives again.

To live apart indefinitely, to not be able to enjoy a home life, because we fell in love with someone from overseas, is extremely difficult. As New Zealand citizens and permanent residents we feel disappointed and disheartened that our partners and children have not been taken into consideration when making decisions to protect our country from Covid-19.From our recent communications with INZ, we have been informed that all offshore visa applications, including partnership categories, are currently on hold and are of low priority. At this stage, there is no information as to when partners / children of New Zealand citizens and permanent residents will be allowed to enter our country.

We know that we are some of thousands of New Zealand citizens and permanent residents currently separated from our partners. It is terrifying not knowing if there are any plans to allow partners / children of New Zealanders to enter the country any time soon. Most of us have had to navigate long distance romance and bureaucratic and financial challenges. We chose to be with our partners despite these difficulties because we love them, they should be here with us.

We want our families to come home.

We plead with you to prioritise processing offshore Partnership of New Zealander Visas and allow exemptions to the border closure for partners, as per stated in the INZ criteria. We believe that our government is capable of taking the right measures to protect our country as well as our families, just as economic activity has been protected by allowing the Avatar team and international students to enter.

Is our wellbeing not as important as the economy?

The impact on our lives is serious, some of our partners have been left with nowhere to live as their family home is here in New Zealand with us. Some of our partners are suffering very serious mental health issues caused by this indefinite separation, some of our partners have found themselves in hospital with health issues either brought on by the stress of the separation or exacerbated by it. It is extremely difficult to watch your loved one struggle from so far away, impotent to help. Kiwi families should be together. We would greatly appreciate your empathy and assistance in bringing our families home to continue living our lives.

Our hearts are with all facing displacement from their homes and families.

Kind Regards, Your New Zealand Citizens, Permanent Residents and their immediate families.

I’d like to believe

“I’d like to believe that there is healing.  It’s a wonderful notion; that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, that loss simply allows us to learn how better to appreciate what we do have for the time that we have it.  But… I don’t believe it anymore.  People often forget that what remains are memories, and that when a wound heals, it leaves a permanent scar that never fully goes away.  I will go on, as I always have done, because I simply have no other choice. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t know how long for because I don’t want to.”

~Anaveya Blackcrest.

Back with the living

The truth was that Ana didn’t really know how long she had spent in the coma.  She knew she had been in one because she had been told so, but nobody had told her the exact period of time; that is, no one that was still around to tell her.  She had asked but nobody wanted to tell her either because they had all but given her up for dead so long ago that time had just got lost along the way, or maybe it was that they didn’t want to tell her and cause her more immediate emotional distress.  The question was dodged or answered with a question or diversion every time and it hadn’t taken long for Ana to give up asking entirely.  They’d tell her when they thought she was ready to know, she supposed, and the truth was, she didn’t care much just then, she was still too tired and all of the little energy she did have was spent on a daily basis trying to get her bearings again.  Either way, she had two eyes of her own and she could see that it had been a long time.

She looked visibly older.  She couldn’t judge how much exactly and wouldn’t want to guess; it could have been years or decades even.  There were definitely a few fine lines on her face that hadn’t been there the last time she faced herself in a mirror and at least a handful of grey hairs peppered through her hair.  Her face, once full and healthy was now gaunt and drawn, the dark circles under her eyes showing just how worn down she had become and perhaps how close to death also.  But she was here, alive, if not feeling incredibly lost and out of touch with everything, including herself.

What troubled Anaveya Blackcrest the most was the distinct lack of recollection of what had occurred before she had fallen into the long deep sleep.  What also troubled her was that she did recall who was missing now she was awake again.  Her sister was conspicuously absent and Kaeth, too.  Where was her family, she wondered as she absentmindedly ran her hand across her belly which bore a curious cross shaped scar that had also not been there before.  Where had her life gone?  Where was …

“Ssh, Mommy, don’t think about it now.  I’m still here.”

Ana startled at the sound of the little girls voice, a little hoarse and quiet as it had always been, and she felt an odd mixture of both comfort and uneasiness as she looked down at the eyeless girl in the faded blue dress as she pressed her pallid face against the woman’s side and wrapped her arms around her middle.  Reluctantly almost, she reached down and stroked the child’s hair once or twice and Eyla tilted her head up to her and smiled, an insidious sort of smile, the one that Ana instantly remembered that almost always came before the child had a brilliant yet terrible idea that she was about to put into action, or draw her mother into.

“I know where Daddy went.  He’s in trouble, Mommy, and we’re going to find him.”

 

Once

“You gotta remember: Once, you were happy. Once, the world felt complete to you. Once, you’ve had the highest ups and the lowest downs. Because you always have to put in mind, that once, you lived. And whatever darkness and light it had, once can sometimes be enough.” ~  Comment credit – Neutral Solstice

Star Shopping

Wait right here, I’ll be back in the morning
I know that I’m not that important to you but to me you’re so much more than gorgeous
So much more than perfect
Right now I know that I’m not really worth it
If you give me time I can work on it
Give me some time while I work on it
Losing your patience and I don’t blame you

If I find a way will you walk it with me?
Look at my face while you talking to me
Cause we only have one conversation a week
Can I get one conversation at least?

This music’s the only thing keeping the peace when I’m falling to pieces

Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason
A reason to shine, a reason like mine and I’m falling to pieces
Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason

 

Credit: http://www.lilpeep.party/

Gustav Åhr ~ 1996-2017

Shot by: Wiggy ~ YouTube

Breakfast at McDonald’s

These Things

I’ve had too many idle hours tonight to do not much else but think. I don’t generally like to necessarily dwell on past things, but there are certain times when things come up and I’m pretty comfortable with allowing the thought process to take it’s path these days, reflect on it (whatever it maybe be), give it the attention it wants and then it goes on it’s way again. Things don’t sting even half as much as they used to. Memories and scenarios replay in my mind now as if I am watching through someones eyes other than my own. It’s very much a case of being on the outside looking in.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, and the truth is that I’m not certain where this ends. But only that it will end; for now, at least.  I just had an out of the ordinary thing…

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