Because you changed the way I see everything. I see and feel you everywhere, in the sunset, in the stars at night, a song on the radio, the numbers on a clock, my dreams. Everywhere. Nothing has been the same since the beginning, and nothing will ever be the same again. I still have a lot to smile about and be grateful for. Especially you. Knowing you, even if for a short time in the larger scheme of everything was nothing short of miraculously unexpected in every way. A one in a million chance, you might even say. The good times, happy days and memories of you far outweigh anything else. But God, do I miss you. Your absence is felt like a part of my actual self is missing. Time, no matter how much passes, will never change that.
Quite simply, because you are special, you’re you, you are completely unique. I have never met anyone like you and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t want to. It’s always been you, since the beginning, and it always will be.
You make me want to write stories about you, every thought that fills my mind and then flows through my fingertips is you. I could write about you forever, and I probably will, you know. I wish I had the right things to say, to order my thoughts in such a way that you could understand, but I have a feeling that even though I don’t, you know my mind in a way that nobody else ever could or can, and somehow you know what I’m trying to say in all of this nonsense entirely, not jut now, but always. That’s so much a part of what makes you special, you just know me. And the parts that you don’t yet? They’ll come, in my heart of hearts I know they will. There’s still so much to learn, of each other, and it’s all just stories isn’t it? Sentence by sentence, page by page? It will all come together, somehow. I’ve never believed in that until now, until you. I love you.
Because I don’t love you for the things you did, not entirely, I love you for who you are. Under the surface of everything that is good, bad, ugly and in between, I see you and you are beautiful to me, your heart, your mind, your soul, your entire being; and that, my darling, is what you don’t understand. I see you. I’ve always seen you.
“The devil and his had me down
In love with the dark side I’d found
Dabblin’ all the way down
Up to my neck, soon to drown
But you changed that all for me
Lifted me up, turned me ’round”
Because I am the worst morning person ever and even when I’m just awful you still greet me in the sweetest, most loving and caring way. You ask me how I slept, how I feel, what my dreams were, if I was comfortable, too hot, too cold, what my plans are for the day or what I want to do with you and I grump all the answers back at you with one eye open and not even wanting to be alive for the day yet. I do not deserve your patience most mornings but it is what I receive and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Truly.