You know, it’s always when I think I’ve got a certain situation all figured out that I am thrown into a mental spin and start to doubt every little thing about it. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve misread some really important cues along the way or if I am screwing it all up with my over thinking and over analyzing of every little word and action, or inaction, after the fact.
I find myself in tears of confusion and pure frustration at the futility of it all.
I just can’t or don’t work well with the instability I feel which occurs as a result of mixed messages and uncertainty. And there is the crux of it. I know very well that nothing in this life is certain, nothing is promised, but this knowledge does nothing to stem the feeling of constantly being in limbo for one reason or another.
I just want to smile and feel happy and hopeful again without wondering if I’m just setting myself up for the inevitable fall I am well acquainted with.